Love

I really am trying,

I promise you that I am.

I really am trying,

Please trust me that I will give you all of me.

Ok, so I am struggling with this whole relationship thing. Cut me some slack, whats a girl to do when she's been living by her own rules for so long now? Its so hard to remember that my decisions now affect my mate as much as it affects me. It was easier when it was just my parents and me. I am not saying that I don't want to be with Andrey, believe me I do. But sometimes its my "old" self that comes through. The one that just wants to play and fool around. Take off when I please, be with my girlfriends whenever I want to, hide away in my studio and not be seen for days. At least when I did that my dear mum knew that there were only a number of reasons why I would do that. Thankfully mum understands me well enough when something is wrong. I lean on my mum for so much in life. Especially when it comes to love. Its not an emotion I have ever been familiar with.

I recently spent a weekend in London with my wonderful girls, Scarlett, Mak, Beth, Donna, and Senna. Andrey came with us, and made some good company for Charles. I also met up with a new friend Kristofer, who will hopefully come up to Ireland with us to meet my family and enjoy somewhere other then home, Nebraska, USA. He is a sweet man. Also there has been wonderful news that my darling friends Renata and Santiago have wed. Such a beautiful reunion. And Felix has also found himself a new love. No its not a car, but a lady name Thanh. Hopefully during my next trip to Italy, I will get to meet her. I must go for now, and see my mum. I would dearly love to speak to her about how I am feeling.