Broken Free

I feel I have broken away from the memories that were haunting me. The few memories I had of my mortal mother weren't the best. But she was still my mother. The operative word, was. She is long gone and so is the relationship we once had. I decided she was no longer my mother when I ran away from home. She has long been dead to me. The only mother I have ever had is Siobhan. She means the world to me, and I treated her just how Annalise had once treated me. I was time for me to go out on my own. Search for the real me. I don't know why or how I fell apart. I just did. I have searched all my memories, my heart, my mind. And yet, I couldn't it put it down to one thing. Alot had been snowballing on me. I think it all began with my art work, the demands of some private clients, the amount of things they wanted and all their little picky things. Then to break away from it all, to believe none of it did matter, I did things I would never otherwise do.

I wasn't ready to handle sharing my life with a mate, to give up all independence to have another rely on me. To open up my life to them totally. I a few secrets, a few sacred things I don't wish for anyone to happen upon. Having someone so intimately close to me, I'm sure they would want to know everything, things I don't want to share. Things I'm not ready to share. Total commitment. There are only two things I've only ever been totally committed to, my artwork and my coven. Well the latter has been lost due to my own doings. Something I hope to get back one day.

For now, I think I will go and visit some friends in Italy. I still have my house there and my car is back in my garage ready and waiting for me to pick up. I can't wait to see wait Felix has done to her. I am so greatful he was able to work on her. Before I head off to Italy, my darling friend Scarlett is going to visit. I can't wait to see her, I've miss Scarlett alot. I hope to see her soon.