Tokyo and back

Tokyo is such a beautiful city. Daemien was great company. Apart from all our bedroom escapades, he took me to a few places. We fed, we danced, we laughed, we talked. I had a great time with him. Then I left. While on the plane, I thought of Tokyo and what happened there. Sure it shouldn't have, but it did. So there I was on my way home to face the music. If only Andrey didn't call while Daemien and I were at the club, if only Daemien hadn't of answer my phone. I could've handled it all myself.

He was there, just as I expected him to be. I was hoping I'd beat him home, have time to myself. Of course it was the first topic that came up. Off he went, I dont know where. I don't know how long for. I hurt him and there is no excuse for what I have done. Maybe, one day he will speak to me again, although I doubt it. But the worse was still to come. I had to speak with my Mum. I had to tell her. I needed to see her.

After Andrey left, I took off on my bike. Stopped briefly and spoke with Bethan and Scarlett, of course they are not happy with me either. I really didnt expect anyone to be happy with me actually, least of all my mother. Whom text me and I decided to return home. We spoke, all I could do was tell her the truth. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know whats going on with me. As I told Mum, I'm sure my mortal mother does live inside me somewhere. I don't wish to discuss everything that was said, but the end result is, I am to leave Ireland. On my mothers advice, I am to go and find myself, find me again. It breaks my heart to leave the home I have come to love over the last 200 odd years. But it breaks me to see myself hurt my mother the way I have. I love her too much to continue to do so. I will not return to Ireland until I know I am the girl she knows I really am.